A big apology to my coda blog followers. Ive been a little behind on my coda blogs! Last week we went to the Key’s for the week, and this past weekend through yesterday we have been dealing with hurricane Isaac. I’m attempting to catch up on things today.
I wanted to remind you today that honoring your feelings is a way of saying to yourself that you and your feelings matter. Also, by stuffing and ignoring our feelings can make us physically sick! Everytime we swallow our feelings and push them deep down inside, it literally causes distress on our immune system, causes us to feel weighed down and tired, and can contribute to dis-ease. One of physical symptoms I see alot with codependency clients is digestive problems. Anywhere from the throat (not being able to speak their truth), to stomach distress, ulcers, gerds, colitis, IBS, constipation, etc. Usually its because of not honoring and processing through their feelings in a healthy way. After awhile, they start having physical problems. You see, our mind, thoughts, feelings, and body are all connected. That is probably why it says in Proverbs that an “angry spirit dries up the bones”, or that a “merry heart does good like a medicine”
In todays world, we spend billions of dollars to not feel any discomfort or pain emotionally. There is a pill for every emotion you don’t want to feel. Beware of avoiding feelings through denial, obsessing about others, consant analyzing in our heads, caretaking, and control, staying real busy, watching too much tv to avoid, and isolating from others. These are all codependency behaviors to avoid feeling.
Getting healthy means experiencing, naming, and processing through those feelings in a healthy way. If you run from them, or stuff them, they follow you until your forced to feel and then it may come out as rage or depression, physical ailments,or you might shut down and become numb. Feelings dont have to be logical or make sense to us. They can also change day to day. I think journaling is a great way to get our feelings out of us and on paper.
Try not to minimize, ignore, or rationalize your feelings. Get out of your head, go deep into your solar plex and ask yourself…. what am I feeling? Afraid? Sad? Angry? Shame? Happy? Codependents tend to ignore their feelings, dont listen to their intuition, and feel their feelings are invalid alot of the times.Your feelings are yours, valid and unique. They are neither right or wrong. They are just yours. We also do not need others to tell us that our feelings are right or wrong. Those we love may have a totally different feeling about something than we do. Thats ok. It doesn’t make them right and us wrong or vice versa. You have a right to your feelings without explanation. Feelings are not facts either. They are just our feelings. Maybe you could make a commitment to yourself today to start honoring and listening to your feelings, then process them in a healthier way.
Healthy Blessings,
Debbie Sherrick
www.insideoutwellnesscoach.com