You ever notice that whatever it is you need to work on will show up in your life? At the core of codependency feelings and behavior is control. We grow up learning to be in control of people, places and events (a false belief to feel safe), or we are easily controlled by others. Right now I am at the Boynton Beach library using their wifi because I haven’t had internet service or cable since Friday evening. A situation I am powerless over!! I do so much work on my computer with blogs and coaching that I can’t believe what a inconvenience it is! The provider of my service keeps changing the date that it will be fixed…….therein lies my learning acceptance over the situtation. I was in resistance at first (which does not move things forward) and being a squeaky wheel insisting they fix it right now! Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever; it is for the present moment. It brings peace and contentment and opens the door to growth, change, and moving forward.
We are asked in life to accept many things: ourselves and where we are right now on our journey, our feelings, needs, desires, choices. Other people, as they are (the hardest at times) The status of our relationship with them. Problems. Blessings. Financial status. Where we live. Where we work, and so on.
Acceptance is a process. It is the key to serenity. It takes effort and a shift in our perception. A decision to let go and let God. If what you are doing works, by all means continue; but if your reactions and efforts to control and fix have not helped, consider that you may be powerless to change another person or situation. Lets face it, its hard enough to change ourselves, even with much effort. Powerless does not mean that you are helpless. There is always a multitude of different actions and choices we can make to deal with the problem and create more peace, clarity and a sense of control than reacting and fruitless efforts! More importantly, you can reclaim your power over your mind and will. I had to find a plan B today and go to the library to do my work. It actually is very peaceful and quiet and Im not having the interruptions I would have at home.
Acceptance is an acknowledgement of what is. There is alot of confusion I find about acceptance and what it means. It is not a passive stance that emanates from hopelessness and a position of victim. Acceptance is a positive step toward taking charge of YOUR own life and responsibilities.It doesn’t mean you approve of the facts. Rather acceptance is an acknowledgement that those facts exist——-like them or not. Acceptance helps us let go of our grip of how we think things “have to be” in order for us to feel good. It does not mean that we accept abusive or unacceptable behavior. That is a common misconception that keeps you from setting boundaries of how you would like to be treated and respected.
Sometimes it’s good for us to do a checklist of things we need to have acceptance about.
1. List all of the people and things over which you’re powerless
2.List all the people you are still trying to change.
3. Write your feelings about others reactions to you
4. What feelings and beliefs prevent you from letting go?
Just for today, I will accept. I will choose to relinquish my need to be in 
resistance to myself and my circumstances. I will surrender. I will reach for the feelings of contentment and gratitude. I will choose to have joy today by accepting where I am today.
Healthy Blessings,
Debbie Sherrick
Wellness/Coda Coach
www.insideoutwellnesscoach.com